"A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave."

So this blog was initially written as an email which I sent out to a bunch of people. But I don't have an email for everyone so here it is. I wrote this in a minute of quiet inspiration in reflecting on the past week in regards to the tragic Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting as well as the apparent coming of world's end. It's impossible to remain untouched and unfazed by last week's shooting. We are all parents, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, teachers, police, first responders, etc. We are also humans, and in that way, this calamity has deeply touched us in one way or another. 

I am not sure about you, but the shooting, along with the many others which the United States has been party to in the last few years, has made me question the existence of God or a higher power. This is not meant to offend anyone, and I am truly sorry if it does. I was raised a Catholic, but have found in recent years and due to personal events in my life, that I consider myself to be more spiritual than anything. I think that religion has the ability to free you, but it also has the ability to cage you, and that is what it was doing for me. I honestly cannot believe that any God, that any higher power, could possibly have wished this on the world (if they do exist). I also am confused and a bit angry because it seems that everyone who I talk to who IS religious thanks God for everything wonderful and good in this world, but the minute something calamitous or heartbreaking occurs, there is just NO way that He could be responsible for it. That, to me, is like saying you will only be friends with someone when the times are good. I do not think that God is without fault and in that way, I believe that he would willingly accept the blame for the things for which He is responsible. Again, it just baffles me that God is responsible for everything good in this world, yet none of the bad. 

Every single one of you in entitled to your own beliefs and opinions, but I for one feel that in the past few years, I have become much more open to learning different religious, philosophies, and general ways of thinking outside of the bars of strict religious  teachings. I have posted a video at the bottom of this blog. It truly is an eye-opening insight into the concept of Religion VS Jesus, and how Jesus the man would not have done many of the things which religion so often calls for. 

Regardless of my belief's or anyone else's, I am sending my thoughts, prayers, love, and peace to the victims of Sandy Hook and to their families. I will leave you with this quote by Mahatma Gandhi:

"Power is of two kinds. One is obtained by the fear of punishment and the other by acts of love. Power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent than the one derived from fear of punishment."

Unfortunately, Adam Lanza, the other mass shooters, and those around the world who have created power by instilling fear, did not ever listen to these words. Perhaps if more of us did, such senseless tragedies could be avoided. 

Hello everyone!

Well it's almost 8:00 PM on Friday the 21st...and I am still alive here in Thailand. Hope things are going equally well in the western world. I was just thinking over the past week or so about a few things. First, I wondered what I should be doing if in fact the world was ending today. I am 10,000 miles away from home and was thinking about how I would much rather be around my family than the people (though wonderful) I just met. Fran Murray of course brought me back to reality by saying "it wouldn't really matter where you were since we would all be in the same situation." Thanks Dad.

Secondly, the events of last Friday, December 14th, acted as a catalyst for a small change within myself and I am sure within many of you. Those vibrant, young, innocent children will never have the opportunity to learn how to ride a bike, go through a high school break-up, find true love, come home drunk knowing what they were in for the next day, travel around the world, or do anything on the infinitely long list of life which we have all been so lucky to have experienced. The whole situation made me realize so many things all at once, a reawakening just as my car accident had been (in a sense).

Far too often, we do things because we feel responsible for others or because we just feel like "we should." While these are often positive things, they do not always equate to our own personal happiness. Our feelings, moods, emotions, and actions create a daily ripple effect on not only our own lives, but on those of others. If you are unhappy doing whatever it is you are doing, realize that your unhappiness does not only affect you, but the people around you. We are certainly not perfect and we are always going to have periods of unhappiness or frustration or anger-it is human nature. However, when possible, we should do WHATEVER makes us happy. That might mean saving up to build your dream house on Lake Sunapee; it might mean quitting your job, even though it pays the bills, because it is using up precious time of which we have so little to waste; travel around the world. Just do you and do it well because we only have one shot at this whole life thing. I am starting to babble, but I just hope that you all had similar realizations this week. Those children and unfathomably courageous teachers will never, ever have the opportunities to live this beautiful life that we do. Even the bad things that happen to us usually have a positive outcome in the end, at least to some extent.

I have some advice which I am sure you are all already aware of. I know many of you are older and wiser than me, but hear this 23 year-old out:

1. Take a moment out of each day to think about something you are grateful for, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem.
2. If you think you should call someone who you haven't spoken with in some time, do it. There is probably a reason beyond our control that the thought popped in your head.
3. Tell your loved ones just how much you love and appreciate them. You truly do not know if it could be the last time you get the chance.
4. Find the beauty in everything. Trust me, it's in there somewhere.
5. Do not waste your time on someone who does not reciprocate your love, affection, and/or friendship. The longer you hold on, the harder it is to let go-even if the person is not who you are meant to be with. Doing everything for someone is being a doormat, not loving them.
6. Start something new...not tomorrow or next week. Be it a painting, a blog, exercise, smiling-whatever. Just start a new path from the one on which you have been treading.
7. This one may take a little longer, but write a "bucket list" or "to do" list or something that will give you physical proof that you have dreams and goals that you can check off. Just because you are 56 years old does not mean you still can't make that trip you've always wanted to go on.
8. Live in the present. You can think about the future, but don't let it define your actions now. Reflect on the past, but do not let it define you-that can be crippling.
9. Spend time each day thinking about someone other than yourself.
10. Regardless of your religion, pray, reflect, meditate, or send love to not only the victims of last week's shooting, but to those suffering every single day all over the world. Tragic and jarring as the Sandy Hook shooting was, there are people who you can still help RIGHT NOW.

I am sure there are a million things I could add to that list, but this email has already taken up much of your time (thank you for reading it by the way). I appreciate you all to one extent or another, and I love you all in the same way. So Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Holidays, Happy New Year, Happy Kwanza, and Merry/Happy every other holiday you may celebrate. I hope this wasn't too confusing for you all, I just had a moment of clarity I suppose, and hope it came across that way. See you all later.

Love, Emma

P.S. This is a pretty moving video for anyone, including all of the "religious" people out there.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IAhDGYlpqY (Jesus VS Religion)

First Sunrise

Again, I am not going to write a full blog right now; I'm way too tired and delirious from waking up at 5:00 AM the last two mornings. I'll post some pictures anyway for you to look at! On Sunday evening, I went to Pha Taem National Park (near Khong Chiam, Thailand...basically the border of Laos and right on the mighty Mekong River). I went with three of the other Americans, as well as my host mom/boss, her husband, and Miss Wanna (another Thai teacher, Busaba's best friend). Miss Wanna would fit in so incredibly well in Vermont/Western Massachusetts it's not even funny. Sweet jewelry, snazzy patchwork pants, and a super chill attitude. Anyways, Pha Taem is famous because of it's 3,000 year-old cliff paintings and mushroom rock formations...you'll see in a bit. Enjoy the pictures and feel free to ask me any questions via Blogger comment box! Peace.

Beautiful Assumption Kindergartners!

Loy Krathong Festival (day of). 

Robin. Kid's got swagger.

Beautiful girl.

Bankbon.

In full makeup still, but ready for the hula-hoop relay.

"Sport's" Day Parade

Befirst.

"Sport's" Day Parade

Life is Good in Thailand

One of Liam's sons, William.

Hey folks! I haven't posted in a while, so I thought I'd drop in and let everyone know what's been going on. A couple of weekends ago, the younger American teachers and Liam (an Irish teacher) and his adorable family gathered at Orlando's house for a Thanksgiving feast. I had been a bit anxious about Thanksgiving this year-it's the first time I have ever NOT been at home for the holiday with my family and friends. Being so far away from home certainly makes you realize how much more you appreciate those you love and who love you back home; it gives me the comforting sense that I'll never really be saying goodbye, but "See you later." Anyways, back to Thai Thanksgiving.

I had been panicking about what delectable dish I would make as a contribution to this potluck-style meal. I had volunteered to make dessert, always a fan favorite and (hopefully) not easy to ruin. The I thought about the fact that I don't have an oven...or a stove...or a hot plate...or a microwave...or anything required to do baking. But alas! The beautiful invention that is the "no-bake dessert" found it's way onto my Google search...thank the Lawd. Thanks to Google and foodgawker, I was able to create not one but TWO no-bake desserts that flew off the shelves, so to speak. Though they didn't look exactly like the pictures (do they ever?) both the Chocolate-Peanut Butter dessert and my No-Bake Peanut Butter Nutella cookies were a hit.

No-Bake Chocolate Peanut Butter Dessert 

Nutella No-Bake Cookies

Eliza and Orlando were in charge of the meat contribution, and dang, what a contribution. We had grilled chicken, which was of course delicious, and (drum roll, please) CROCODILE! Yes, crocodile. 

For those of you who haven't cooked or grilled crocodile, it looks like chicken (whitish-pinkish) but has the texture of a light sandpaper. It's definitely tougher than chicken, but I have to say, I liked it better. Maybe it was the marinade, but the thin filet of croc was delectable, and I feel pretty cultured to now say that I ate crocodile for Thanksgiving on a mat in Ubonratchathani, Thailand. 

Lyle, Lyle crocodile. 

Liam contributed his homemade chili con carne, while Sam and Alicia brought a bevy of fresh vegetables which were pan-cooked and just the right amount of crispiness. Patty and Dave brought Patty's homemade macaroni and cheese (they're smart...they have a hotplate) which was amazing! It's safe to say that we all left with the slightly uncomfortable, post-Thanksgiving full tummy.

Veggies.

Happy cooking!

In other news, watch out folks: I have rented a Yamaha motorbike. It's automatic and more of a large scooter than motorbike, but I still feel pretty badass zipping around Ubon. After witnessing that pretty horrific accident in Laos, I was not going to rent/buy any motorbike. However, it is the best purchase and/or decision I have made since arriving here. While Ubon is not huge, there is a lot to explore and see, and one can get tired easily by travelling by song-taew then having to walk everywhere else. The bike is 900THB per month and the bright blue helmet I purchased was 350THB. I don't think the Murray parents were super psyched about the idea of their daughter on a motorbike in Thailand, but let me explain. The roads here are built for motorbikes/bicycles. They are very narrow, with little room for passing if you are in a car. The people of Ubon have also been riding on the back (or front) of a motorbike since infancy, so while the traffic can be speedy, everyone seems to respect the road and other drivers. There are also police checkpoints at night all the time, so while drunk driving happens, it rarely goes unchecked; drunk driving happens all of the time in the United States, so it's not the terrifying driving situation everyone pictures it to be over here. I do not have any pictures of myself on the bike right now, but I will be sure to get a real good one for you all soon.

Eliza taking charge of the grill: the crocodile is the meat that's not cooked yet.

Eliza takin' care of business.

Patty washing some mung beans.

I'm going to sign off on this blog post for now, but another one on school life is coming up!

Surin Elephant Round-Up

On the train.

Greetings everyone! I hope you're all getting ready to gain five pounds in one day this Thursday, and that you've thought about tacking on another few to make up for my absence. I have to say, I'm going to miss Thanksgiving up in Worthington with the Murray/Downey clan: crackling logs in the fireplace, frigid walks through the woods and cemetery, mom's forty desserts that she woke up at 5 AM to make for the previous three days, drinking, a little throwing around of the pigskin, and of course, passing out on the couch with Caroline for two hours in a tryptophan-induced coma...oh, and the historic game of Trivial Pursuit where there no one can ever agree on intellectually challenging questions such as "What did the first Spanish dog to be fitted with contact lenses not see the day after the fitting?" Yes, I just looked that up online. So, put those feedbags on if you love me and try to agree on some answers this year.

Sam and Alicia!

This past weekend, I went to Surin province with some friends to see the annual "Elephant Round-up." This is day one of a 10-day elephant festival in the city of Surin, it's people known for their excellence at capturing elephants in Cambodia and using them in wars and for agricultural purposes. While elephants are not used in battle anymore, and rarely (if ever) used for economic purposes in Thailand, the people of the Surin province still hold a special reverence for these majestic and kind creatures.

Countryside views.

The train-ride from Ubonratchathani to Surin was a quick two hours through the beautiful countryside of the Isaan region of Thailand. It really makes you appreciate wide open spaces and greenery as far as the eye can see, especially when spending most of your time in a cramped city environment. I saw lots of lotus ponds and rice fields filled with farmers and laborers harvesting their crop, as well as lots of water buffalo and beautiful white cranes. The train itself was another story-it was pretty ghetto. I'm pretty sure the cars are about 80 years old since they were composed of grimy metal and glass windows and thinly cushioned wooden benches; basically, think of the circus train in "Water For Elephants" plus a few benches. It was kind of cool though to be barreling through the countryside, head banging on the window every time the train crossed a trestle, in what seemed to be a nearly-antique train car. Maybe you had to be there since I'm not giving the best description, but I hope you can check out some of the pictures for a better idea.

Beautiful young elephant.

Once we arrived in Surin, we hopped on a tuk-tuk and sped through the rainy city towards the festival. It was already busy when we arrived around 9:30 AM since the famed "Elephant Breakfast" and parade had already started at 6:00 AM. Outside of the arena was a sort of bazaar filled with lots of delicious Thai food, trinkets, wood carvings, clothing, umbrellas, and men walking around with wooden boxes filled with ivory carvings. On the latter, I was kind of bummed because there were some really cool elephant pendants, but I also thought about the prospect of landing in prison upon my return to the States, so I restrained myself. We bought some tickets and some lunch, and while we were eating, some of the mahouts (elephant handlers) began walking some baby elephants down the street! They were, at risk of sounding like a girly-girl, extremely cute and very personable. The mahouts kind of scared me because they had these wooden sticks with sharp, metal hooks on the end that they would poke and prod the poor elephants with. When they need a place to put the hooks, they just put them on the elephant's ears. The whole thing was basically just a performance to make money for the mahouts, but I've never touched an elephant or fed one, so that was a really cool experience. The little guys would take your money in their trunks and then you could feed them some food. Feeling an elephant suck the money and food right out of your hand was a very strange sensation. Their trunks have course hairs on them and are very tough and leathery, but they were so gentle. They also made these little high-pitched elephant noises (sounds sort of like this...) and it made me think it would be pretty hard not to love these incredible creatures.

Getting ready for battle...

Surin Elephant Round-Up ticket.

Huge elephant guarding the goal!

Soon, we headed into the arena to watch the actual performances by the full-grown elephants. First, a group of elephants did some hula-hooping and dart-throwing. After that was over, a few elephants came out to step over their human volunteers, who were lying face-down in the arena while a massive elephant poked at them with it's trunk and sometimes gently tapped on their bottoms. It sounds terrifying, but it was actually really funny watching the volunteer's reactions to having a gigantic creature stepping on them. Once the volunteers recovered from their heart attacks and got off the field, two large groups of elephants with their mahouts wearing either yellow or orange trotted onto the field for a game of soccer. Those elephants could show up Manchester any day of the week! The last hour or so consisted of several traditional Thai dances accompanied by the elephants and large drums. The finale was a reenactment of a battle between Burma and Thailand, complete with swords, spears, uniforms, gun smoke and fire, and of course, about 25 elephants dressed to kill (hehe...get it?). 

The four of us wandered the bazaar for a bit, walking past mango stands and insect stands and all sorts of stands. I do not think I will ever be adventurous enough to eat a cockroach or a cricket, but I did have my favorite thing in the world-fresh coconut water with coconut meat. Our journey back to Ubonratchathani took about four ridiculously uncomfortable hours, but it was well-worth the journey and the opportunity to get out of Ubon and into the country. 

This guy knew how to dance better than I ever could. 

 Surin Elephant Round-Up